I get so angry inside when someone is there for you all the time when you don’t really need them or aren’t relying on them and then not there when you actually are in some type of turmoil or need support , you can start to resent them for that. Like they lay down a safety net but take it away when you’re falling. Really sucks. But I suppose it teaches you more and more to rely on yourself,which is a hard road that everybody is trying to run all the way to the end of, but sound like its more of a slow walk that takes a lifetime.
I hate learning the hard way.
Fuck all this SHIT. feelin like absolute BALLS right now and wanna punch shit and yell at someone and cry , fuck fuck fuckkkk!!!
You expect too much Lucy, you expect too much.
I expect too much do I?
I expect the most minimal attention and acknowlegement from people. A hello is too much. A kiss is too much. A text is too much.
I expect no presents for my birthday, in fact I wish I could repel them! Thank you but your love and company means more! I do not expect solid gold bangles or hundreds of dollars or bucketloads of booze. Unfortunately what I expect is a little more personal. A card. Or a verbal happy birthday. But I guess that IS asking too much.
I expect love. And being genuine. I don’t expect all of your time. I don’t expect.
It would just be oh so nice.
I did not get The Simple Things tattooed on me for no reason. It’s the biggest hint of all.
Trying not to be bitter or unhappy at this time but everyone I really want to see, is overseas or far away or not with us anymore. And busy. Everyone is just oh so busy.
Fucking hate the word ‘busy’.
Make time. Before its too late. Am I the only one who has learnt this the hard way..
I had a really good friend, who turned into a really shit friend. And it makes me so angry and sad at the same time.
” you can’t treat people like crap and expect them to love you. I have MADE an effort ALWAYS. It’s always me getting in contact with YOU, I would have thought it would be understandable why I wanted my friend to do the same back? No I don’t expect to be in contact ‘every single day’ that’s ridiculous. And yes we have had this fight many times, can you think why? “
“Because you expect too much. And you guilt trip. You say you called 5 times, when it was once, you say we haven’t spoken in 2 weeks, it’s 4 days, I’m sorry but your not the only thing in my life, and I’ve NEVER been someone to sit down and have a ‘cute phone call’ I hate them too bad “
“Why would I lie? I genuinely have called many times, and I haven’t SEEN you in two weeks is what I said. Don’t say sorry when you’re not. I’m not here to guilt you, if you feel guilty then that’s on you.And I expect too much? A
Txt or a phone call is too much? Wtf?”
“I don’t feel guilty. And no one said anything about lying, you just over exaggerate and turn small things into big deals.I’ll say it again, you wanna see me, you come to me. Otherwise, there’s always dishes and vacuuming”
timespenttravelling asked: Balls. That was supposed to be a nice cute note, then autocorrect comes along, I think changed something to 'tit', and then when I try to delete it it posts instead! Gag! Let's try again! If it counts for anything, I think you're amazing just the way you are, and always will be. Missing you... :(
I can’t wait to just run at you and dive into a hug when you get back. You are one heck of a guy and I almost lost you there.
So. I’m getting tattooed on Monday. I’m nervous. I’m excited. I can’t wait to see what tenielle has come up with. I want it to stare me in the face and I want to go ‘yes that’s the one it’s perfect’ I hate making changes. I’m not creative and I never know how to put things onto paper I can just KNOW if it’s right or not.
It’s about me. Its about representing my mum. It’s about my beautiful friends. It’s about life and vitality and history.It’s for myself, and it’s about beauty and keeping beautiful inside and out. A closed flower in its bud is still beautiful on the inside. So I’m getting a floral design. In a vintage style because I’ve always lived the old floral wallpapers and I want something I will love forever.
I am afraid of what people think, and what they see when they see a girl with tattoos, and what tattoos ‘mean’ to some people. To some it’s a sign of rebelion, or trashiness or criminality. I think it’s just for me.
And following through with what I originally wanted is how I’m going to stay true to myself and my wants and crystalize why you shouldn’t change yourself to suit someone else’s ideals. I nearly backed out because I was worried about what it would look like to andrews family or even to my mum. I know they don’t like tattoos. It’s like it’s a dirty word. But again, its about me and for me , and my mum will have to love it, because it’s to represent her beauty. To help me remember her beauty when times are tough and my patience is wearing thin. It’s to help me remember that there is beauty in all things. You just have to remember to look for it, and I think, that if this tattoo is sitting there on my hip all my life then I will visualize it in my mind and BE what it represents.
Nervous but excited.
I remember once my dad told me “you always remember the truth, everyone forgets their lies.”
So why lie? No more lies.
He thinks I’m burden, something he has to plus into every equation, a child to be looked after.
So not ok with me. I hate the way he views me. I don’t want to be THAT girlfriend. I am so not that person, how did I ever make myself look that way?
He says I’m selfish and I don’t think before I talk.
After I offer him money to get to nz, because he’s too hungover to work today and make his own money. Yeah I’m so selfish.
Anonymous asked: Third world problems
Anonymous asked: thats an awful lot of complaining
Keep that sort of shit to yourself, where does a comment like that get you? Seriously.